Dear family and friends,
It has been a good week, full of growing experiences and tests of faith. Agency of the investigators is a hard thing to deal with. Elder Cornett and I both know that a lot of the problems we face right now are trials of our faith, nevertheless it still makes us sad, to work so hard for these people and for a lot of them to not make it to baptism this transfer.
We did our best, its all one can do, and I always try to see what I need to do better on. It is still hard and sad though, ALL the investigators had great excuses for not coming to church this past Sunday, but they were still excuses. They will make it to baptism soon but it will be very hard for them to make it this transfer and we are trying to do all we can to help them, but they have to meet us half way, they HAVE to want it as bad as we want it for them. It will all work out, I will not let Satan use it against me, we just need to trust the Lord and do all we can to help them.
There have been many miracles this last week, less actives coming back to church and helping us teach investigators. Changes in the members and an excitement about missionary work. Many plans and meetings are in place to change the ward council and other things to work even better with the ward. It has been neat to be apart of. I have also received a lot of great revelation as to what I need to do better as a leader, how to minister better and be a better Christ like, relate-able, and understanding leader.
This transfer has been great and I have learned so much from Elder Cornett and I have let him know that. I have tried to focus on the positive but It has been hard this transfer. This last week I just simply told him I was tired of his attitude that he has had throughout the whole transfer off and on and that kind of attitude has been hard to be around. He is always feeling like he is not good enough and sad I have tried my best to be patient and help with the lack of energy, excitement and the sadness. But it takes its toll after a while and I don't know that he wants to listen anymore. So I plan on showing love more through service. I love the guy so much and just want him to be happy but he always feels like happiness is just out of reach, just beyond the horizon. I don't want him to go his whole mission like this and regret why he didn't just enjoy the time, because happiness is right in front of him! We have discussed all of this and he gave me some great advice on things I need to do better and I am trying to apply those things, I am not perfect and I am just trying, we all are and the Lord knows and appreciates that.
It has been a harder week but it was still great. I am trying my best to be positive and have faith in the Lord for his investigators and what he wants for them. They have their agency and that is hard sometimes no matter how much I try to do for them. It seems like when It rains it pours, we have had some great opportunities to practice Christ like love and patience with many people on the street getting in our faces or being rude to us. A year ago I would be mad and want to retaliate but now it just makes me sad for that person, I catch a small glimpse of the sadness Christ must feel for us when we reject him or disobey.
I can feel Satan working on me, with thoughts about friends that have passed away, the what if's, and more. More importantly I feel that the Lord's power is stronger than it all. We are both very tired and I fear the grind of everything is catching up with me and my health. I don't want to portray the wrong message that I am unhappy or doubting the Lord. I love these people and I love this work. I will go through anything the Lord wants me to go through and I will strive to do it with a smile. There have been so many miracles in the mission and in the missionaries. It has been a privilege to play a small part in missionary's lives. We have re-emphasized all those things we talked about on Thursday, this morning and we committed the leaders to get those items to the District Leaders before tomorrow, as well as a loving reminder to get numbers in on time. Family and friends, I love this work, there is nothing greater, and I love being able to serve the Lord through his missionaries and these people, and I love Elder Cornett and all he has taught me, a mission only happens once and I strive to enjoy every minute of it.
This is one of my favorite scriptures that beautifully and very personally explains missionary work.
8 For behold, the Lord doth grant unto all nations, of their own nation and tongue, to teach his word, yea, in wisdom, all that he seeth fit that they should have; therefore we see that the Lord doth counsel in wisdom, according to that which is just and true.
9 I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy.
Thank you! Love you all and I would like to hear more from you in letters how you are doing personally and advice on how I can do or be better, also let me know how I can make my letters better, or anything better in that result. Love you guys and miss you!